March 2017 Newsletter: What is Love?

Where are the places in your life where you see authentic love modeled for you? I want to state the obvious (which you already know) that a lot of the “love” you see around you isn’t an authentic kinda love.

What does society say love is? What do you think love is? We seem to think that love is something that’s supposed to happen to us. But that’s a lie we’re told by movies and commercials. Love is actually something we give.

When trying to answer the question “What is Love?” we can see that it exists on multiple levels. How can I love video games, my mom, and Cheetos? Do you have these various levels of love in your life?

I saw this on Facebook – “In case no one has told you today: You’re beautiful, you’re loved, you’re needed, you’re alive for a reason, you’re stronger than you think, you’re gonna get through this, taxation is theft, don’t give up.”

How many of our significant relationships are filled with fluff words vs powerful words (words that communicate what the Facebook post says)? No wonder teens want fluff. We’re too busy chasing superficial relationships.

1 John 3 talks about sin and how that keeps me from God and I read it and wonder if I even know God myself. But then there’s vs 16 that stands out and makes sense to me: “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us.” What part of superficial exists in that? Why wouldn’t I want to live my life in a way that honors God if he loves me that much?

We desperately need to be people who put the needs of others first. People who go to extremes to love others, just like we strive to live in a way that honors God. People who discover that love isn’t some feel good gift, but it’s communicating to others how important they are to us.

Name someone who loves you? Write in a few words how you know that they love you? Let’s talk about this at Renew.

Caring For Others [Part 1]

Lara and I went to Solvang this past weekend.  It was fun. We stopped at Ostrich Land and fed some of those goofy looking creatures (you can watch a video I made of it here). Whenever I go away, outside of my “world” I usually find myself thinking about some issue in my life (going away does that).

This trip it was: “I’m getting really tired of people making comments about my hair.” (Pink: “They don’t get my hair”)

It bothers me, but the thing is it’s unrealistic to expect that people will stop doing that. It just is. Even the nicest people on the planet will offend me at times.

The Ragamuffin Gospel – Chapter 2

Ch 2 – Magnificent Monotony

I started reading this book with some guys from church last week, and today Chapter 2 raised some discussion over how the author intended to use this word monotony to describe God’s relationship with us. Sure, the title says it’s magnificent, but still.

It was another great chapter where in the end he says that “anyone who has experienced [God’s love] will tell you: the synonym for monotonous is not boring.”

There’s a lot I could quote (as Dean said: “It’s like pulling a piece of straw out from a haystack” haha) and I’m not very good at book reports, but what stood out for me was reading about God’s power (i.e. he created) and his love. He loves just because I am (referring back to grace from Ch 1?). But if in return, I love God because I think I need to (i.e. because he’s powerful), then I’m not getting it.

 

He then talks about how we’re in a similar situation with each other. We think we need to be popular or powerful; we focus on these things. But to “accept myself as I am…is an act of faith in the God of grace.” p48-49 This doesn’t mean we become lazy. Instead, he says that “love is a far better stimulus than threat or pressure.” p49 (another reference to God’s power?) But when we begin to see ourselves as accepted, “we decrease our hunger for power…we no longer fear criticism…we are less often plagued with the desire to please others…we are grateful for life” etc. p-49-50

For me, this chapter had that aha moment on the last page when I read that “the gospel of grace ends any apparent dichotomy between God’s power and His love.” p50 (Dichotomy: a division or contrast between two things that are or are represented as being opposed or entirely different.)

I think this is difficult to grasp as a Christian. There’s a lot of info in the bible that leads us to think that we need to stand up for what’s right, or we need to make sure that everyone knows the truth about who Jesus is, etc. And to a certain extent, maybe we do. But isn’t that the same as using our power or trying to please others or whatever other big list of to-dos you can come up with?

But then, the gospel of grace doesn’t mean I just sit around. It means I’m free to love more.

I think you need to read the chapter to get where I’m going with this, but hopefully you can see that there’s a difference between loving God because we’re supposed to and in loving others because God loves us.

My Grandpa’s Funeral

I had a black & white cat named Stanley who a few years ago died of an autoimmune disease called F.I.P. It’s something that a cat can contract from another cat simply by touching noses, among other ways. It comes on them fast too; one minute they’re here, the next they’re gone. I’m not sure how Stanley got this disease. To my understanding, it could’ve been something he had for a long time, then all of the sudden something triggered it to react in his body. Actually, the vet didn’t know for sure if in fact it was F.I.P. but they had a good hunch. The scary thing is, I have another cat named Bella, who has been alive and well ever since.

Recently, Bella will have these random sneezing episodes where she sounds like one of those sprinklers that shoots water rapidly in one direction, then comes back a bit slower to where it began. You know the one I’m talking about. The thing is, Stanley used to do that. So naturally, I’m a little concerned for Bella.

Last night while I was sleeping, I woke up to her sneezing again. And a few minutes later she jumped into the bed, walked right up next to my face as if to say “pet me,” and then laid at my side. I laid awake for awhile thinking about how death makes us afraid.

I started thinking about my grandpa who died on Feb 9, 2006 of cancer. I flew into Chicago to go be with my family when he was nearing his death, and on the drive to his house where he was in hospice, I was in the car with my parents and we got a call that he had passed.

A short time later at his funeral I remember getting the opportunity to say a few words. I don’t remember much about what I said other than something to the effect of I wished I had taken more time to visit with him, to garden with him and spend time doing some of the things he enjoyed. Afterwards, a good family friend said to me, “Were you trying to make us cry?”

Last night while I was laying awake thinking about death, and petting Bella, I pictured myself back at my grandpa’s funeral. I imagined what I wish I would’ve said:

“One time I was over at my grandma and grandpa’s house, and I remember grandma saying to grandpa, ‘Darrell will you take out the trash?’ He replied, ‘Kiss your what grandma?’ My cousins and I got a good laugh out of that one. I have always liked cars and so I remember a long time ago he used to drive this old red Ford sedan (I think it was the Ford Fairmont…it had to have been made in the late 70’s/early 80’s). I remember he liked to garden. I remember that every Christmas he’d put the stick-on-bows from his gifts on his bald head and we’d all get a good kick out of it. I remember his shins were permanently bruised and I’d always thought it was weird. I remember he liked to cut bananas up into a bowl with milk (or something like that) and it always grossed me out. But the thing that I remember most about my grandpa was that he seemed to always smile. And his eyes were very warm. He was always so gentle. I’m sure grandma and all the aunts & uncles could tell stories of when he wasn’t so gentle (we all have that side to us), but I don’t remember ever seeing his. I think that’s the way it’s supposed to be. And I think that’s an important thing for us to remember today. That it’s better to forgive and love; to remember the good we see in people around us. And to rest in our faith that one day we will see our husband, our father, our friend, my grandpa again. And to know that until then, he is always with us in our memories. And one day when my future wife says, ‘Honey, will you take out the trash?’ my response every now and then will be, ‘Kiss your what grandma?’ And we’ll have a good laugh and remember my grandpa’s comforting smile and warm eyes.”

While I laid in bed thinking of all this, tears came to my eyes; they are again now as I type. Partly because I missed my grandpa, and partly because I was scared for Bella. I said a few words to my grandpa, hoping that he was somehow listening from heaven as I fell back to sleep.

It’s ok that death makes us afraid. But hopefully it challenges us to live good lives. And to remember the good in people…and cats. And to appreciate the time that we are given.