High School Dating: Post-message thoughts

I spoke about dating in high school last night. No surprise that it’s a tough subject they very quickly throw some walls up to. Here are a few thoughts for parents. Note: I’m speaking in very general terms from the vibe of the group. Please don’t take offense if you disagree in part.

Parents:

1. Your teenager doesn’t listen. And they don’t want to talk about it. They’re apathetic.

2. Furthermore, your teenager thinks the subject is funny; OK to joke about.

3. The previous may be true because your teenager thinks they already know it all.

4. Your teenager is unaware of what TV and pop culture are teaching them.

5. Your teenager is afraid to be different; to go against the norms.
Could all these be signs that we’re not preparing them for what it means to date in high school? For what it means to be in love? Or is it because this is the attitude their peers have? Either way, I’d like to think this is an important enough subject to be in meaningful conversation with our teenagers about, perhaps at Starbucks or their favorite restaurant. Thoughts?

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Dating in High School: A few of my opinions that I shared last night @ Renew

Going against the grain and steering clear of romantic relationships is one of the best things you can do. It’s freeing to not have to worry about the stress of a dating relationship.

The problem is, if you like somebody, you like them. You can’t really change that. But keep your heart in check. It’s about perspective. Hindsight is 20/20 right? So learn to look beyond your current circumstances.

You won’t learn anything from dating that will prepare you for marriage. You won’t. Don’t use that as an excuse to date.

Serious temptations will get you nowhere.

Just be friends. If there’s something more it’ll turn into that later on in life.

And if it doesn’t? Well, no worries because there’s no such thing as a soul mate (my opinion, remember). God will bring someone else in your life, trust me.

Learn patience. You’ll thank yourself down the road.

Sex and lust is all around us. “I know this isn’t gonna end well, but the whole middle part is gonna be awesome.” -From the TV show New Girl where Nick is talking about dating his boss. We laugh, but in reality this mindset has the potential to bring so much pain.

Love? When you first fall in love, you can’t really know them. You actually fall in love with your idea of the person. Love is not what you see on the outside, but in being with someone even when you can’t stand them.

You’re SUPPOSED to be different. Deut 14:2; 1 Peter 2:9 – In KJV, “Cherished personal treasure” and “God’s instruments” are translated “peculiar.” Not weird different, but you are called to live to a higher standard.

Stay with groups and keep yourself accountable to others. Don’t put yourself in a private situation. And don’t do anything you wouldn’t do in front of your entire family.

Know that you will never be judged by me if you choose to ignore my opinions. Your thoughts matter too, it’s how you learn. I know I sound old, but these things really will help you. I know because I’ve been there. I hope you can have the courage to have these conversations with your parents and us. I promise you’ll look back and be glad you did.

2 Comments

  1. Passport to Purity is an EXCELLENT program and has valuable lessons/discussions, as well as meaningful activities to help your teen remember the concepts of purity. I highly recommend it!!

  2. D Hub! Good stuff here. I really like the New Girl quote – so true how we turn pain into humor just to make it acceptable. Also, your comments about loving the “idea” of a person are so true. I like “don’t do anything you wouldn’t do in front of your entire family”. Straight to the point! A good barometer of wisdom. And you are so right – it is freeing not to have to “worry about the stress of a dating relationship”, but it’s really worth it when you find someone that you love most as a friend before anything else, like you said. Good post!

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